Why I cancelled my group coaching program 5 days before it was due to start

Today was meant to be the first day of Illuminate 2.0, but I decided to call it off instead. This has come as a surprise to many and maybe to you too.  I’ve heard actual gasps “Ohhoohhh”’ of complete shock from friends I’ve told, who have had no idea how to respond, or I’ve had the occasional “OMG is everything okay, WTF is going on in your world” and the “OMG, YOU WHAT??” 

To be completely honest, I feel the most fucking free and trusting in myself and the universe right now than I ever have in my entire life. The idea to not go ahead with Illuminate 2.0 dropped in peacefully one morning before meditation, and as a Manifesting Generator (in Human Design) my body instantly responded to the idea of calling it off with an instant FUCK YES THAT FEELS SO GOOD, EXPANSIVE AND ALIGNED. I didn’t even need to wait to respond. It had nothing to do with logic, nothing to do with my brain, but everything to do with how it felt and my god it felt good. 

Prior to this moment, I had a week of synchronicities, upgrades, shifts, emotional releases, it was very clear that energy was shifting, my body knew what was coming but my brain hadn’t quite caught up. It was up to me to choose how pivotal that week was going to be for me, and I can tell you it’s going to be a moment in time that I won’t forget on my journey to reconnecting with my own truth. It’s creating massive personal, spiritual and professional change. I honestly can’t describe how much lighter I instantly felt when I committed to the decision, like I’m floating, like I’m truly exactly where I’m meant to be, that the support from myself and from the universe is supercharged when I’m fully following my inner guidance. 

So what contributed to getting to this point where this guidance dropped in pre meditation Thursday morning last week?

Firstly, the launch of Illuminate 2.0 was hard, it felt forced like I had to really try to show up and talk about it and NONE of my launches prior to this had never ever begun to feel like this. Don’t get me wrong, the Illuminate 2.0 container that I crafted was and is POWERFUL, EXPANSIVE and full of magic, which is why many women did join the 8 week journey and I honour them with my whole heart and soul for showing up and committing to it. (I’ve voice messaged and emailed these beauties with so much honour and respect and have obviously refunded them in full.)

When I got really honest with myself (which wasn’t until last week), part of me no longer felt aligned with this work, the trainings, the way the program is run, even being committed to holding space for 8 weeks. IlIuminate 2019 showed me how much it truly takes to hold such a powerful container and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to do that or if I even wanted to give that much of myself away again. I created the bones of Illuminate in August/September last year and at that point in time it was my full truth, my heart, soul and every cell in my body were fully aligned with that container, and the power in the messages, which is why the spaces were filled with ease and it will always be one of the most powerful programs I’ve facilitated (shoutout to the OG Illuminate family).  But since September 2019, holy shit balls, I have been on one MASSIVE journey of growth, peeling off my own layers, leaning into other skillsets, spiritual gifts, following niggles to immerse myself in things my soul has been calling me to step forward into for years. But as with everything, when space is being taken up by something that is no longer aligned, there’s no room for the new light and magic to come through. 

Secondly, I added Illuminate 2.0 into my timeline of offerings for 2020 because it was powerful and I filled all the spaces once before, so of course, I’d do it again right? Makes business sense. Turns out I’m not running my business with my brain, but with my heart. AND my magical community are very in tune with their own energy which means they’re picking up on mine too. Thank you for always being my mirror.

Finally, I’ve been coaching women for 5 years, through the hundreds of testimonials I have received, I know I’m good at it. It comes naturally to me. It feels safe. I’ve done it for 5 years, of course, I’ll keep doing it right? It’s what I’m known for. It’s part of my identity. BUT safe isn’t expansive, safe isn’t following my truth and my own inner guidance. It’s time to take the leap.

As well as all of that the coaching industry isn’t feeling good for me right now, at all. Many beautiful women ARE following their own truth, their own guidance and spreading beautiful, intentional and genuine heart and soul magic around. However, I am also seeing many becoming coaches because of how the lifestyle of being a coach is portrayed (heads up it takes a lot of work, self-awareness, commitment to doing your own inner work, it costs money, plenty of compromises and has taken me 5 years to get to where I am today, and just because I run a 6 figure biz, does not mean I have 6 figures in the bank). I’m seeing coaches exploit women’s pain points aggressively to have them sign on with them (marketing 101, soul-aligned negative 600), I’m also seeing regurgitation of teachings, messages and clones of coaches. And unfortunately whether consciously or subconsciously work and offerings are being copied. I’ve had 5 people come to me and say something along the lines of ‘Hey I’ve seen *anonymous coach* ig stories/posts/messages/latest offering and it looks so much like yours” about one specific coach. YES I am all for us ALL stepping into our light and fully into our power BUT ONLY when it is 100% ours and we have taken the time to tune in to our heart space to find out what it is calling us to do. And I 100% agree, that most things have been done before and it’s only natural to find influences from others within your work, but it is a fine line between feeling inspired and copying content from someone’s website or social media almost word for word. And I’m sure there would have been at least one moment throughout my 5 year journey since completing my Diploma in Professional Coaching I have allowed myself to be over influenced and steer my work in a direction down a path that was not my own. But it’s time for us all to check in. In my opinion, there is going to be a backlash against the coaching industry if we all don’t dig in deep with integrity, align our work with our own values and not get lost in the hype of coaching. As well as that, I can see the coaching industry becoming regulated in the next 1-2 years. As in, coaches will need a qualification from an education or certified provider, not from another coach. This isn’t about me, this is about the integrity of the coaching industry as a whole which has evolved massively since 2015. (OMG that unravelled very quickly, maybe a piece to come solely on this topic in the near future???) 

Okay back to Thursday last week. I had this epiphany and presented myself with the idea of “If Illuminate 2.0 didn’t go ahead what would that look like” and immediately new offerings, experiences and events dropped in. It was like they had been sitting there in my field, waiting for me to create the space for them to come into my awareness. I felt a sense of freedom that I hadn’t felt before, a feeling of my being detaching from my work and it no longer being my sole identity or focus.

So I ran into the kitchen and told Arlo, who was about to take the first sip of his morning Cacao (he’s addicted) all about this epiphany and idea of not going ahead with Illuminate 2.0, to hear his perspective and ideas on it moving forward (which I respect so much, we are always bouncing ideas and business aha moments off each other). We work together really well (and are launching a business together very soon #topsecret) because Arlo hits me with the logical, the business, the structure, the strategy and my strengths are in creativity, flow, ideas, trusting my intuition and connecting the dots from here there and everywhere. Arlo agreed it was certainly an option, but why not wait until Sunday to see how I’m feeling and see what other beautiful women are called to be part of the Illuminate 2.0 container between now and then. So I thought yeah okay, let’s at least give it the rest of the day…

But that didn’t last long. It didn’t feel right, my whole energetic body was screaming at me to call it off right then and there. I went through my morning rituals and then, after spending a week declaring my trust in the universe, my trust in the signs my guides are sending me every day, this is the card I pulled. The first paragraph:

9. Blessing of Kumu

No good thing shall be withheld

“The universe wants to express it’s creativity, healing and brilliance through you. It does not want to be limited to repeating what has already been. Newness needs to burst through you into startling expressions of abundant life. You are guided into unknown territory, guided to go beyond that which you have known yourself and your world to be so that something original and necessary can be brought to life.” 

My jaw dropped, my heart started beating fast and I felt the tingles everywhere. I ran back to the kitchen and showed Arlo, who read the first paragraph and we both ended up with the biggest smiles plastered over our faces and right then and there I committed to cancelling Illuminate 2.0. 

AND IT FELT SOOOOO FREEING ON SOOOOO MANY LEVELS. I felt my soul exhale with relief.

From there I respectfully let the women who had signed up know straight away, honoured their commitment by sharing a number of my resources and training with them for free and thanked them for acknowledging their own magic. I then shared with the beautiful guest coaches and healers who I had locked in for Illuminate 2.0 and wow wow wow. The responses that I received from every single person blew me away, they respected my decision and honoured the fact that I had fully connected to what was in alignment for me and my journey moving forward. I am thankful for the women I am surrounded by, the women with integrity, the women who acknowledge and honour the shadow and the light, and the women who are committed to walking their own path. 

So now beautiful humans, I am fully leaning into what LIGHTS ME THE FUCK UP! I am pivoting massively, not just in the magic and energy I share with you and through my work but in life! I’m following those niggles that until now I’ve barely had enough space for the trail of breadcrumbs BUT now I have room to eat the whole fucking loaf. I’m choosing to embody the healer within me that I’ve spent years avoiding. I’m choosing to LEARN and immerse myself in books, courses and conversations where my soul feels fully illuminated. 

AND HERE IS YOUR PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME!! Here is your permission slip to change course, to pivot, to grow, to not go ahead with something you agreed to prior if it no longer feels in alignment. TO FUCKING EXPAND. To remove the masks. To disconnect. To reconnect. To unfollow. To follow. To change course. To have a conversation. To feel into your body and choose what FEELS GOOD FOR YOU! Because you are the oracle, you are the healer, you are the creator. You do not have to do what everyone else is doing. Tune in to what your heart and soul are calling you to create, to do, to be. Don’t follow the crowd, follow your inner guidance. 

And LET ME KNOW what action (if any) you are committed to doing after reading this post? I love hearing from you!!! You can leave a comment below, leave a comment on my latest Instagram or Facebook post or send me an email at bridgetpaddonandco@gmail.com (this is the separate email address I created solely to connect with you!) 

What has dropped in for me since Thursday morning, is the creation of a beautiful container called The Soul Room with the main intention of connecting the human to the spiritual. I am still finalising the details but it will be sprinkled with the magic of everything I love and am being called to share, both 1:1 and group exchanges, tapping into the collective energy of the container that will guide us to what we will cover and connect with each week. This is a 4 week container (at this stage) and an affordable investment. The only way to learn more about this is to put your email address on the form to receive an info pack [click here], you will then be sent through an information pack to read through later this week once the rest of the details have dropped in. You get to feel the energy of The Soul Room in your own time and make a decision that feels fn good for you from there.

A massive thank you if you’ve read this far!! I say it a lot, but I truly cherish our connection, whether it’s here right now, you reading my words in this moment, a message, like or comment on instagram, replying to my bids love notes in my emails, whatever it is, I always feel your energy and always appreciate your part in my world. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love Bids xx