Why I turned down an all flights and expenses paid trip to Fiji and how it supercharged my self worth
Last week I was approached by a company running a retreat in Fiji. They were looking for a life coach to run workshops over the course of the retreat and had been recommended me. Their mission was to give their clients the opportunity to dive deep into their limiting beliefs and make some epic breakthroughs with me, all while living it up in paradise. They were looking to take a holistic approach to the overall retreat which felt really aligned with me, to begin with. This alignment was enough to pique my curiosity - I wanted to hear more and couldn’t stop thinking about how wicked it would be to debut my first international retreat in Fiji.
As we continued to communicate they outlined what they required from me and what they were willing to give me in return. When I first read over the email, I was like oh my god helll yesss!!! Return flights Auckland to Fiji, all transfers covered, all accomodation and food paid for on an island as well as a number of epic activities and experiences they had planned for their clients. I was incredibly grateful to be given this opportunity -shout out to a special friend who actually passed on my name to the company. (Thank you, because it was a learning experience that came at exactly the right time, as learning experiences always do.)
But hold the bloody phone, they weren’t willing to pay me for my time. Not any of it. Not even when I offered a reduced rate that took into consideration the value of everything else they were offering me. They weren’t willing to pay me for the hours that would have gone into creating the content and preparing for the workshops leading up to the retreat. They weren’t willing to pay me for the hours I would have spent running workshops and working with their clients one on one while we were on the island. They weren’t willing to pay me a cent. And I shit you not, that just did not feel right. At all. Not in the slightest. I was starting to feel like maybe this retreat wasn’t so aligned with my values after all.
It took a lot of courage to get really clear on the amount I was expecting to be paid, knowing all the while that it was quite unlikely they were going to agree to it. I had to dig really deep and check in with my own self worth and get really clear on how much value I place on the work I do. I must admit this was extremely uncomfortable but also felt really empowering and liberating at the same time. I had to coach myself through it and think about what questions I would ask a coaching client of mine if they were in a similar position, and think about what would I encourage them to do. I also sent out emails and messages to my kick ass support crew who I knew I could count on to keep me in check, who ask the right questions and guide me to see different perspectives. After I replied to retreat company with my expectations including payment they immediately declined and explicitly stated they couldn’t and wouldn’t meet my requirements...
To be completely honest (as I always am with you guys) it felt fucking great. I was actually on cloud nine. It felt great because I believed in myself. I backed myself. I acknowledged my own expertise. I took the time to read through pages of hundreds of testimonials of my soul aligned clients that I’ve had the honour of working with over the last three years and really looked at the big picture of what I do and the difference I make in my client’s lives. I put a price on that impact and effort that felt right and when they declined, the ‘no’ felt aligned. It showed me loud and clear that it wasn’t meant to be and I was so proud of myself for valuing my worth, my business and my coaching services. It’s funny because on the surface it would sound like a loss, but in reality it felt like a massive win to me, the dance party was on. That in itself shows the empowering vibe of doing something in alignment with yourself. Yeow!
Self worth shows up in all areas of life. It’s a theme and belief system I work through at least once with all of my soul aligned coaching clients. It’s a bit like a chameleon because it can manifest initially as other things e.g. jealousy, frustration, control, perfectionism, inability to trust, people pleasing, financial blocks, judgement and so on. Here’s a couple of quick tips to check in with your self worth today.
Here’s 5 quick tools to check in with your self worth today:
Get clear on how you’ve defined your worth in the past, what or who have you attached your worth to. Release these thought patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you.
Forgiveness. What can I forgive myself for? Write a list of anything that you would like to forgive yourself for. Accept yourself with forgiveness and without judgement, we all make mistakes and that is how we learn, grow and evolve. Nothing on that list defines your self-worth.
Change in perspective. Write a list of all of your strengths, the things you love about yourself, what you’re proud of, your accomplishments and how you add value to other people’s lives. See how long you can make it! Triple dare you to do three pages, front and back!
Shine the light. Is there something you’re currently not feeling worthy of? What is it? Why don’t you feel worthy? Explore it. When we shine the light on discomfort, we ease into it and grow through it.
Affirm affirm affirm. It can take some time to override old, deep cemented thought patterns and belief systems. By adding positive affirmations into your daily routine affirming just how much value to bring to the world, it won’t be long before your synapses are firing with this new belief e.g. I am in control of how I feel about myself and I choose to feel proud, accomplished and worthy. No one can make me feel inferior. I am worthy of abundance, alignment and connection. I am worthy of greatness. I am entitled to a joyful and remarkable life. I have decided that I am good enough.
I may not be going to Fiji... BUT I am celebrating that fact that I’ve acknowledged and honoured myself, my skills, my abilities and my worth. Having the strength and courage to believe that the only person who can put a value on my worth, is me. Not someone else, not an amount of money, not a certain way I look, not a job, not a relationship status, not a pimple on my face and not an all expenses paid trip to Fiji. Only me. Now that’s pretty fucking powerful.
Thinking about working with me, working through belief systems, setting aligned goals and supercharging your self-worth? I have 3 spaces opening up for the GDNZ 10 Week Coaching Package, click here for more information or get in touch!